polycrac
Rising Star
So I'm on day 5 of waiting for my new build - and I'm still in pre-production...
This is my second PCS build so I know that drill, but for those new to the company, let me demystify it:
Day 1) Parts are selected and placed on satin pillows in a small, shrine-like booth.
Day 2) All PCS employees begin their day by walking past the booth, each whispering a single complement as they pass. Employees are encouraged to come up with their own, but typically things like 'Whoa, nice L3 cache, dude - nuff Mb' or 'What - only 2933 MHz? Surely not, you look like a full 3000 to me!'
Day 3) The day two parade is repeated, in addition, there is an icebreaker - small canapes and glasses of fizz are placed next to each component, while lounge jazz plays and the components are encouraged to make small-talk and get to know one another.
Day 4) Employee parade, followed by "The buffing" - Each component is cleansed with Unicorn tears and gently dried again with the silk of a spiderweb, spun under a blue moon.
Day 5+) Components are gently coaxed a little closer together, sometimes a few inches, sometimes just a few millimeters (at the discretion of PCS's Master Coaxer, who has more than 40 years experience of this) before the employee parade is repeated.
Eventually, when the Coaxer feels the time is right and the components have grown both physically and emotionally close enough, all activity in the site stops and Barry White is played at high volume (all uninvolved staff remove their head-wear and turn their backs, respectfully). Then and only then, does 'Assembly' begin. Testing is usually a formality, with the assembled PC being checked for enthusiasm, exuberance and empathy (in that exact order). Finally, when the truck pulls up for delivery a gong is sounded, goodbyes are said and the completed PC makes its way to its new owner.
This is my second PCS build so I know that drill, but for those new to the company, let me demystify it:
Day 1) Parts are selected and placed on satin pillows in a small, shrine-like booth.
Day 2) All PCS employees begin their day by walking past the booth, each whispering a single complement as they pass. Employees are encouraged to come up with their own, but typically things like 'Whoa, nice L3 cache, dude - nuff Mb' or 'What - only 2933 MHz? Surely not, you look like a full 3000 to me!'
Day 3) The day two parade is repeated, in addition, there is an icebreaker - small canapes and glasses of fizz are placed next to each component, while lounge jazz plays and the components are encouraged to make small-talk and get to know one another.
Day 4) Employee parade, followed by "The buffing" - Each component is cleansed with Unicorn tears and gently dried again with the silk of a spiderweb, spun under a blue moon.
Day 5+) Components are gently coaxed a little closer together, sometimes a few inches, sometimes just a few millimeters (at the discretion of PCS's Master Coaxer, who has more than 40 years experience of this) before the employee parade is repeated.
Eventually, when the Coaxer feels the time is right and the components have grown both physically and emotionally close enough, all activity in the site stops and Barry White is played at high volume (all uninvolved staff remove their head-wear and turn their backs, respectfully). Then and only then, does 'Assembly' begin. Testing is usually a formality, with the assembled PC being checked for enthusiasm, exuberance and empathy (in that exact order). Finally, when the truck pulls up for delivery a gong is sounded, goodbyes are said and the completed PC makes its way to its new owner.
