Encolpius
Silver Level Poster
Read this a while back as part of my awful novels quest. However this has to be singled out for exceptional depreciation. It's terrible! Absolutely rotten! It reads like a Twilight fan fiction was additional gratuitous sex... which is probably because it started life as such, a Twilight fanfic called "Masters of the Universe" until Ms James used the find and replace feature on MS Word to change all the names round.
Worse still, it has a really Daily Mail view of BDSM, that people are only into it because they were abused or are abusers. This is not what BDSM is about. I would go into more detail but I'd probably be moderated if I did.
I find it jaw-droppingly astounding that this is selling in the volumes it is, and there's a film adaptation approaching. Have these people not read it? Are they unaware of the fact that the characters are unbelievable Mary Sues, that the sexy bits are about as sexy as assembling flat-pack wardrobes, and that it features lines like, "He's no gentleman. He has my panties!" and "I'd really like to claim your ass." That grinding noise is the (dead) authors of "Histoire d'O" and "Fanny Hill" rotating in their graves faster than the fan on my 6870. Not to mention the constant flushing, biting her lip, and having an inner goddess. Also, whenever Christian Grey impales her with his hard grey eyes [insert obligatory pun about being impaled by something else here] her insides go all squirmy and clenchy. That's not sexy. That's constipation.
As an aspiring writer myself (law procedurals, not pr0n) it's really disheartening to know that there are many folks out there who actually can write and who would give their eye teeth for any sort of publication, yet the washout marketron that is E. L. James is encouraged to peddle her ascended fanfic to all and sundry.
Worse still, it has a really Daily Mail view of BDSM, that people are only into it because they were abused or are abusers. This is not what BDSM is about. I would go into more detail but I'd probably be moderated if I did.
I find it jaw-droppingly astounding that this is selling in the volumes it is, and there's a film adaptation approaching. Have these people not read it? Are they unaware of the fact that the characters are unbelievable Mary Sues, that the sexy bits are about as sexy as assembling flat-pack wardrobes, and that it features lines like, "He's no gentleman. He has my panties!" and "I'd really like to claim your ass." That grinding noise is the (dead) authors of "Histoire d'O" and "Fanny Hill" rotating in their graves faster than the fan on my 6870. Not to mention the constant flushing, biting her lip, and having an inner goddess. Also, whenever Christian Grey impales her with his hard grey eyes [insert obligatory pun about being impaled by something else here] her insides go all squirmy and clenchy. That's not sexy. That's constipation.
As an aspiring writer myself (law procedurals, not pr0n) it's really disheartening to know that there are many folks out there who actually can write and who would give their eye teeth for any sort of publication, yet the washout marketron that is E. L. James is encouraged to peddle her ascended fanfic to all and sundry.
