One-liners | Page 24 | PCSPECIALIST

One-liners

ColEyt

Silver Level Poster
Courtesy of the late and great Tommy Cooper

I went to the Doctor's the other day. I said, 'Doc, I've broken my arm in two places.' He said, "Well, don't go to those places."

I went to the doctors the other day, and he told me to say 'Aahh'. I asked him why, and he told me his dog had just died.
 

SpyderTracks

Bingo Bango Orchestrator
Moderator
Courtesy of the late and great Tommy Cooper

I went to the Doctor's the other day. I said, 'Doc, I've broken my arm in two places.' He said, "Well, don't go to those places."

I went to the doctors the other day, and he told me to say 'Aahh'. I asked him why, and he told me his dog had just died.
Tommy Cooper was and is one of my all time greatest, sheer genius.
 

Martinr36

MOST VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
She hurried to the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside.
The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground.
She looked at it and said, "I don't know how to use this."
She bowed her head and asked God to send her some Help.
Within 5 minutes a beat up old motorcycle pulled up,
driven by a bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag.
He got off of his cycle and asked, if she needs help?
She said: "Yes, my daughter is sick.
I've locked my keys in the car.
I must get home.
Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?
He said, Sure.
"He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was open.
She hugged the man and through tears said, "Thank You God, for sending me such a very nice man."
The Biker heard her little prayer and replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man.
I just got out of prison yesterday; I was in prison for car theft."
The woman hugged the man again, sobbing, "Oh, thank you, God!
You even sent me a Professional!"
 

rouchie

Enthusiast
More from the great man ....

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its Colin.

Last night I slept like a log. I woke up in the fire place.

My wife had a bad habit of biting her nails but I cured her. I hid her teeth.

I met my wife at a dance. I thought she was at home with the kids.


 

rouchie

Enthusiast
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