One-liners

[Martinr36]

 

[Martinr36]

 

[AgentCooper]

The cat managed to get into the the xmas cracker box and do some serious chewing earlier, I’ve just swept up what used to be a paper crown and a tiny deck of playing cards. There was also the obligatory awful joke in there....

What illness will you get if you eat your xmas decorations?

Tinselitis

 

[AgentCooper]

Not a one liner by any stretch but I saw this and wanted to share it...

 

[Deleted member 41971]

My therapist says I have a preoccupation for revenge. We’ll see about that.

 

[SpyderTracks]

Which Knight made the Round Table?

Sir Cumference

 

[Stephen M]

My really annoying neighbour was hammering on my door and shouting abuse at me at two in the morning.
Luckily he did not wake me, I was still up, practising the bagpipes.

 

[ubuysa]

We’ve recently had a decorator in to do some work. I got chatting to him and it turns out he’s a British Airways pilot who’s unfortunately been furloughed and needed to earn some extra cash to support his family.
He made a lovely job of the landing...

 

[Bhuna50]

Just tested positive for covid and I've apparently caught it off the neighbour's cat.

Dont ask meow.


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[dtlucario]

A man walks into a bar. "Ow."

 

[Martinr36]

We’ve recently had a decorator in to do some work. I got chatting to him and it turns out he’s a British Airways pilot who’s unfortunately been furloughed and needed to earn some extra cash to support his family.
He made a lovely job of the landing

I thought maybe he didn't do anything fancy just kept it plane

 

[Bhuna50]

Just heard that the local prosthetics shop is changing hands....


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[Stephen M]

Just heard that the local prosthetics shop is changing hands....


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I had heard they were in trouble was told they did not have a leg to stand on.

 

[SpyderTracks]

Rather apt for today....

The Future's bright.... The Future's not Orange

 

[ubuysa]

Rather apt for today....

The Future's bright.... The Future's not Orange [emoji23]

He's just Biden his time until 2024...

 

[Deleted member 41971]

"Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons. They forgot to mention Morons".

 

[Deleted member 41971]

Made me laugh

 

[Deleted member 41971]

 

[Stephen M]

Enduser, am after a bit of help. Do you have any advice on pre-ordering games

 

[Scott]

Spoke to one of my friends in North Korea the other day, asked him how he was doing...... said he couldn't complain.