One-liners

D

Deleted member 41971

Guest
bob monkhouse jokes

"My wife said: 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said: 'Why?' and she said: 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already'."

"Yesterday they held the Most Honest Politician Of The Year contest...and nobody won".
 
D

Deleted member 41971

Guest
robin Williams jokes

You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.

Freud: If it's not one thing, it's your mother.


Jack Nicholson was with me at a benefit and leaned over and said ‘even oysters have enemies.’ In a very intense voice. I responded with ‘Increase your dosage.'
 

SpyderTracks

We love you Ukraine
robin Williams jokes

You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.

Freud: If it's not one thing, it's your mother.


Jack Nicholson was with me at a benefit and leaned over and said ‘even oysters have enemies.’ In a very intense voice. I responded with ‘Increase your dosage.'
RIP, the man will always be a legend.
 

AgentCooper

At Least I Have Chicken
Moderator
One from the late, great Les Dawson:

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said ‘Are you going to help?’

I said ‘No, six should be enough.’
 
D

Deleted member 41971

Guest
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AgentCooper

At Least I Have Chicken
Moderator
ROBIN: You didn't name everything in the bathroom after you, did you?

BATMAN: Of course not!

ROBIN: 😐

BATMAN: Alright... well... yes, there's the Bat-soap.

ROBIN: 😐

BATMAN: Okay, and the Bat-shampoo.

ROBIN: 😐

BATMAN: But there's also Conditioner Gordon.

ROBIN: 😑
 
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